LISTENING
Listening is a type of perception by which we receive auditory signal. It helps us to play, relate, influence and to learn. Hearing and listening are different, hearing is just basic step of receiving sound but listening is process receiving sound and our brain will interpreted what we listen.
There are 5 stages of listening:
Stage 1: Receiving
- It can be verbally and non verbally
- Hearing auditory stimuli
- listening can be more effective if we:
- pay attention on the speaker
- avoid distractions in the environment
-refrain from thinking about how you will respond
- maintain your role of listener by not interrupting
Stage 2: Understanding
It will be more effective when decoding speaker's messages if we:
- relate the speaker information to what you already know
- see the speaker's messages from the speaker's point of view
- ask questions for clarification
- paraphrase speaker ideas to facilitate mutual understanding
Stage 3: Remembering
Retaining messages received and understood for at least some period of time. It can be more effective if we:
- identify speaker's main ideas and supporting evidence
- summarize messages in ways that are easy for you to retain
- repeat names and key concepts to yourself
Stage 4: Evaluating
We judge messages that we hear, it will be more effective if we:
- resist evaluation until you fully understand the speaker's points
- assume the speaker is a person of goodwill
- distinguish facts from inferences and opinions
- identify any biases, self-interest, or prejudices that may influence the speaker's messages
Stage 5: Responding
Responding occurs in two phrases:
- response while the speaker is talking=back channeling cues, means to let the speakers know you are paying attention
- response after the speaker has stopped/ while conversing.
This stage can be more effective if we:
- express support for the speaker by using varied backchanneling cues
- express support for the speaker in your final responses
- take ownership of responses by using "I" messages
Listening will be difficult if speaker and listener have different cultural, there are 6 diversify of listening & culture:
1. Language & speech
- every speaker speaks an idiolect
- speaker and listeners who have different native language
2. Non verbal behavioral differences
- speaker from different cultures have different display rules
- listen = verbal+nonverbal
- if verbal and nonverbal contradict with what you expect, it will become noise or interference, for example: you make the hand gesture of come here but you say "go away".
3. Direct and indirect styles
- direct style: "say what you mean and mean what you say"
- indirect style "they emphasize politeness and maintaining a positive public image rather than absolute truth"
4. Balance of story versus evidence
- in some cultures (e.g. US) most people want evidence before making decision rather than critical thinking
- but for some other cultures, they may be more influenced by the word of high credibility source
5. Credibility
- is what make a speaker credible or believable will vary from one culture to another
- for example: competence teacher is the most important factor for parents to send their children in preschool
6. Feedback
- members of some cultures give very direct and very honest feedback
- but some cultures have the norm of "it's more important to be positive than to be truthful and so they may respond with positive feedback even though they don't feel it"
There are 4 ways to listening effectively:
1. Participatory and passive listening
- the key to effective listening is to participate mentally and physically
- listening without talking and without directing the speaker in any non verbal way is powerful means for communicating acceptance
2. Emphatic & objective listening
- understand what a person: means + feelings = empathy
- emphatic listening means for both increasing understanding and for enhancing relationships
- there are times when you need to measure the meanings and feelings against some objective reality
3. Non judgmental and critical listening
- effective listening includes both non judgmental and critical responses
- open your mind and understanding the message and then evaluate or judge the message
4. Surface & depth listening
- Distinguish the surface and depth meaning of the communication
- for example: how do you like my new haircut